"Shut up, you’re white."

It’s not easy to deny when I walk the earth suckin’ up all the privilege that comes with that classification, whether i like it or not. I’m not gonna get called wetback, I’m not a target for lethal stereotypes, I’m not gonna get murdered by cops based on my color scheme (if cops ever murder me it will be over something else) The fact that I pass as a white man, despite every fiber of my being aching to be a genderless tejana, is undeniable.

On paper, I’m not white. That little tick-box on all that juicy government-sanctioned paperwork that wants to know your race has white listed as: “White (NOT HISPANIC OR LATINO.)” Well god damn, I’m one if not both of those things. Sure, I could opt to not disclose the specifics of my race. It’s technically against the law to discriminate based on the information on these papers. Whatever I check off, Doesn’t change my name from Ramirez to Smith. 

Back on the title: “Shut up, you’re white.”

It’s always from the angry mouth of a white person. Are they disgruntled that “I’m mexican” was uttered by something that didn’t fit their Frito Bandito criteria? Are they peeved that the 7’ blue-eyed totenkopf poster child doesn’t want to play on their team?

Sorry to soil your Aryan fantasy, kiddo, but cheekbones this mighty just aren’t in your programming.

I don’t think my ancestors asked for some spanish ravager to plant recessive traits in their blood supply. If you really wanted brown people to look brown and white people to look white, you could have stayed your ass in europe.

Pretty much every time I head out the door I feel like some kind of body snatcher spy waiting for people to get comfortable around me and let some ignorant shit drip from their mouth. They don’t expect their own kind to confront them over their precious ©2003-2014 Comedy Central sense of humor and other general aggressions.

That said, I think racial mixing NOT achieved through conquering and colonialism is a great thing, both on a social scale and genetic one. You can produce beautiful kids who will have access to a multitude of culture. Their immune systems will be super buff and their skulls will baffle anthropologists for centuries to come.


Anyway, here’s Caleb from Trail of Tears wearing the traditional ghost riding ensemble. If you’re a fan of this franchise at all I recommend giving that one a read. He’s got a flaming horse. 

(This could easily be Blaze or Ketch to someone who doesn’t give 2 shits about skullular consistency)